As I think upon this new year, I have mixed feelings of hope and fear.
Hope that THIS is going to be the year that Jacob is cured and that by the end of the year he will be recovering from his BMT. Hope that we will someday resume a "normal" family life. Hope that we will be able to give Jacob a full life, filled with rich experiences.
Fear of moving away from my home, husband, Ethan, and extended family members. Fear that the procedure won't work. And fear, that it may cause so much damage to Jacob, that in the end, we will lose this battle.
Last year at the same time, I had similar feelings and thought for sure by 2012 things would be resolved. Here we are again, starting from scratch. As a wise friend of mine taught in church yesterday, "it is better to look up." I'm going to take that to heart and focus on the hopeful aspects that could come of this year. In the grand scale of things, this will be but a small moment in time.